So, you need help to get a date because you have social anxiety. Did your social anxiety cause you to miss out on St Valentine’s day again? The one day of the year when you’d love to have the courage to ask the object of your desire for a date. But you froze…AGAIN!
You repeat your affirmations. You practice your approach in the bathroom mirror. A few deep breaths and you’re ready!
Then, just when you think you might be able to confront your fears, your heart starts pumping. The adrenaline begins to flow freely and you’re back to where you started. Paralysing fear and anxiety prevents you from pursuing your dream.
Well, it might be too late to jump outside your comfort zone today, but there’s no reason to think you can’t be a stronger person by next week, or even tomorrow!
To give you a bit of a jump start on kicking your anxiety to the kerb, I’ve listed a few tried and tested ideas to move you forward. Chances are not all of these ideas will suit you to begin with, but regularly use the ones that do, and start to break free!
Seek out a Support Group
It doesn’t need to be a physical group. There are many online meeting places to cater for Social Anxiety. Grab yourself a portion of Google juice and venture inside some of the results.
I know it’s not a generally recommended practice, but if you feel uneasy about joining an online group, you could always join using a fake name?
Once you’ve spent a while in the group, you’ll see the company of others, who understand what you are going through very comforting.
While you’re there, it’ll be helpful for you to try to interact: be encouraging and look for ways to help others. Your acts of kindness will be paid back to you.
Let people know you’re nervous
Being nervous is a general issue, not an ‘anxious’ one. Even the most outwardly confident people feel nervous at one time or another. It’s surprising though, how much easier it is to speak to someone if you tell them first that you’re nervous.
That way, the uncomfortable feeling you get from trying not to stumble your words, etc. will lessen considerably. Giving you the freedom to relax a bit.
You’ll be surprised how forgiving people are if you’re honest with them.
Just do your best, don’t try to be perfect
If you try to be perfect, you’re setting yourself up for failure. The need to be perfect and social anxiety often go hand in hand.
No one is perfect. All anyone can ask of you is to be your best. Why waste time trying to achieve the impossible, when no one can be better than their best. Cut yourself a break and just be yourself.
Make yourself accountable
It’s much easier to make excuses to yourself, than it is to an outsider.
It’s also much harder to admit that you failed to another person. Choose someone you trust to hold you accountable. It could be a family member, but a friend is usually better. Family will often try to be consoling if you mess up, you need someone who will hold you to account!
Try a WOOP!
If you haven’t read my latest post on WOOP, it stands for Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan.
It’s a scientifically proven technique for identifying a wish, then making a simple plan to achieve it. A proper explanation is beyond this post, so have a quick look at the videos, etc. here for a full explanation.
Well, there we have it. 5 ideas to get you started. Each of them will move you forward, the more of them you try, the greater your chances of success quickly. Give as many of them a go as you can….. start to break free today!
Let me know how you get on 😉
