Any project works better if you have a plan. And of course, that includes your ‘project’ to increase your confidence.
The first part of that plan, is to get clarity on why SPECIFICALLY, you want to increase your confidence. What is your ‘WHY’?
I know it’s easy to say something vague like “I want to enjoy parties”, or “I want to make friends”, etc. Unfortunately, these things aren’t specific enough to be of much use.
If you really want success then you have to be SMART.
You could certainly take either of those statements as start points, but you need to expand on them to make them useful.
Ask yourself questions like:
- How do I want to act around people?
- What do I want people to feel when I’m talking to them?
- How will I stand, or sit, or walk, etc.?
- What thoughts will I have about myself?
- What would I like people to say about me?
- When I’m feeling confident, what benefits will I have?
- What benefits will those around me gain when I’m confident? etc.
Image you’re designing a super confident character for a book you’re writing. You need to have their complete personality worked out before you introduce them to the story.
It’s the same in your own life. If you want to increase your confidence, you need to get completely clear on the type of person you want to be, then write down those traits.
Once you’ve got everything listed, check that the personality you want is SMART. So, make sure that the image you have for your future self is..
- Specific – You have a mental picture of exactly how this new you will look, feel and behave.
- Measurable – You’ve isolated each of the traits you’ll have and how you’ll recognize when you have them.
- Achievable – You believe that you have the commitment to achieve this change and the tools/resources to achieve it.
- Relevant – You know that these changes will move you toward your overall ‘mission’ for your life.
- Time-bound – You have a timeline for achieving each of these new traits (the timeline will probably change though 🙂 ).
Once you’ve got this description of your future self, pin it somewhere you’ll see it everyday
Spend some time over the next week or so, clearly defining the person you want to be. You’ll then be ready to start taking some action toward your new self. You could start by using a few tools from NLP.
If you have any questions, let me know in the comments below.
Until next time, Be Brave!
