Don’t let Fear and Worry hold you back
We all struggle with fear and worry now and again. In fact, a lot of the time, fear is actually a good and healthy thing.
It’s often fear that causes us to wear seatbelts and try to eat healthy, etc. It’s also entirely natural to be concerned about things like our health, our finances, our job status, our children, and a whole host of other things.
But, if fear gets out of control, it can often take over and prevent us from enjoying our life.
When we’re consumed by our fear and worry, we’re not present for other people and we often stop doing the things we love.
Also, if we’re afraid, we won’t start that new businesses, write that books we’e always wanted to write, or initiate any form of relationship.
If we want to successfully navigate the often-difficult world we live in, we’re going to need effective strategies to coping with unhealthy fear and worry.
We have to learn ways to overcome our fears, so we can move forward, toward the things we desire.
In this guide, you’ll discover 10 proven strategies, to help you face and eventually overcome your fear and worry. Ready? Let’s dive in.
What Exactly Is Fear?
Fear is a biological response to an internal or external stimulus.
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- A biological response. When you’re afraid, your body goes into “fight or flight” mode. Your heart rate goes up and your adrenaline increases.
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- To an internal or external stimulus. Fear can arise from within or without. Thinking about losing your job (internal stimulus) causes fear. Coming face-to-face with a grizzly bear (external stimulus) also causes fear.
What you’ll probably discover when you analyze your own fears, is that most of them are probably internally created.
You’re afraid, because of what you think will happen, rather than what’s actually happening. What you feeling is real, but the circumstances you’re imagining aren’t.
When you understand the true nature of fear, it’s easier to overcome the irrational stuff. You can closely examine your own anxiety and determine if there is any real substance to it.
1. Change Your Biology
When you’re experiencing fear or worry, your body’s ramped up. And it can sometimes be difficult to control your thinking. So, when you dispel the physical effects of your fear, it gets much easier to dispel the mental effects too. So, how can you change your biology?
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- When you work out, your body releases endorphins, which make you feel good. If you’re feeling worried, go for a brisk walk or hit the gym.
- Do breathing exercises. When you’re anxious, you breathe rapidly, which raises your heart rate, increases muscle tension, causes dizziness, and more. Focus on changing your breathing patterns.
- Relax your muscles. Use progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) – a technique for releasing muscles that have been tensed due to anxiety.
- Eat and sleep right. As much as possible, try to eat healthy foods and avoid processed ones. Shoot for somewhere between seven to eight hours of sleep each night.
2. Identify Your Fears
Before you can overcome fear and worry, you must be able to identify it. If you’re not clear regarding the source of your anxiety, you’ll struggle to resolve it.
To identify your fears, ask yourself a series of questions:
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- What am I afraid of?
- Why am I afraid of it?
- What do I try not to think about?
- When do I feel afraid?
- What emotions do I feel?
- What negative outcomes am I envisioning?
- What pictures do I have in my head about this situation?
You may need to work a bit to get to the bottom of your fears. And it’s common to have smaller fears and worries stacked on top of much larger ones. Work to determine the root fear that is causing all your other anxieties.
Next, become aware of all the different ways your fear and worry is affecting your life. Is it:
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- Causing you constant emotional distress?
- Keeping you from doing things you want to do?
- Hampering your relationships?
The goal of this exercise is to bring you face-to-face with the consequences of your fear. When you see how anxiety, fear and worry damage your life and hold you back, you become much more motivated to take action.
3. Practice Worst-Case and Best-Case Thinking
When you’re feeling afraid, think about the worst-case scenario. Now, what are the odds of that actually happening? Probably pretty low. The worst case very rarely happens.
When you engage in worst-case thinking, you’ll often discover that the worst isn’t nearly as bad as you think it is.
After thinking through the worst-case, think through the best-case.
When you envision the good things that will come your way, it motivates you to take action in the face of your fears. You are able to see what you will miss if you let your worries control you.
4. Focus on What You Can Control
How much time and energy do you spend worrying about things you can’t control?
A huge portion of life is out of your control, and if you focus on those things, you’ll be constantly worried. For the most part, you can’t control:
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- The actions and responses of others
- What others think
- Ageing
- People’s opinions of you
Worrying about the things you can’t control is a waste of time.
When you fear things outside of your control, you have less energy to use on the things where you can make a difference. What can you control?
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- How you respond
- What you think about
- The ways you treat others
- The information you consume
When you focus on what you can control, your fears will significantly lessen, and your life will significantly improve.
When you find yourself dealing with fear and worry, stop and ask yourself, “What things are under my control?” Once you identify those things, give all your time and energy to them.
5. Choose Gratitude
Fear and worry is almost always rooted in a scarcity mentality.
You’re afraid that you’ll lack:
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- Love
- Respect
- Money
- Health
- Possessions
- And more
Gratitude completely shifts your perspective, fixing your gaze on the things you already have. It’s hard for gratitude, and fear and worry to coexist. When you feel fear beginning to rise in you, embrace gratitude.
Look for ways to be grateful that are specifically related to your anxiety.
Some simple ways to practice gratitude include:
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- Keep a daily gratitude journal.
- Send a weekly text message of gratefulness to a friend.
- Send out handwritten note cards once a month.
- Tell your loved ones why you love them.
- Embrace every challenge as an opportunity to grow.
- Post about gratefulness on social media.
6. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation
Fear and worry consistently takes you out of the present. Instead of focusing on the here and now, you are constantly worried about what could happen in the future.
Practicing mindfulness and meditation keeps you firmly rooted in the present. All of your energy and focus is given to the current moment.
Mindfulness simply means being aware of, and savoring the present moment without thought of anything else. Meditation is a specific practice that helps you grow in mindfulness.
Although there are many different forms of meditation, they all involve focusing on the present for a set period of time.
If you’ve never practiced meditation, there are numerous tools available at the Apple App Store, or Google’s Play Store, that provide expert guidance:
Headspace has a huge number of guided meditations, sleep sounds, mini-meditations, and more.
It’s available from the Apple App Store, or Google Play.
Relax Lite – Stress and Anxiety Relief offers effective and rapid stress relief in 5 minutes using guided breathing and meditation exercises.
It’s currently only available at the Apple App Store.
Calm offers numerous meditations of varying lengths, breathing exercises, nature sounds, sleep stories, and much more.
The App is currently only available for Android, at Google Play.
7. Schedule Your Worries
One of the big challenges in dealing with fear and worry is that it’s always present. On top of this, many people find it difficult to turn their brains off. Once anxiety has wormed its way into their minds, they can’t stop thinking about it.
One technique recommended by psychologists is actually scheduling a time when you will think about the things that worry you.
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- Set aside 15-30 minutes per day.
- During that time, write down everything that worries you. You don’t have to create solutions. You just need to get things down on paper.
- If you start to worry about something at any other point in the day, tell yourself that you will think about it during your “worry time”.
In the beginning, you may find it challenging to put off your worries, but over time it will become easier. An additional benefit of planned worry is that it increases your sense of control over your life.
8. Get Support
Dealing with fear and worry is a lonely battle, often waged just in your mind. This is why getting support from others is crucial if you regularly deal with it.
When you discuss what you’re thinking with others, you’ll begin to see your worries from a different perspective.
Some ways to get needed support are:
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- Talk to a friend. Unburden yourself to someone you know well and can trust.
- Join an online support group. There are a number of online organizations specifically designed to help you cope with anxiety.
- Join a local support group. Depending on where you live, there may be in-person anxiety support groups which you can join.
Don’t be embarrassed if you struggle mightily with fear and worry. Every person has their own share of worries and anxieties. Talking to others about your struggles can go a long way in helping you make progress.
9. Talk to a Therapist
Therapists can help you identify what you’re afraid of and then guide you forward. Using both their extensive training and experience, they can give you specific exercises that will help you overcome your fears.
How do you know if you should go to a therapist? The American Psychological Association poses these questions:
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- Do you or someone close to you spend some amount of time every week thinking about the problem?
- Is the problem embarrassing, to the point that you want to hide from others?
- Over the past few months, has the problem reduced your quality of life?
- Does the problem take up considerable time (e.g., more than an hour per day)?
- Have you curtailed your work or educational ambitions because of the problem?
- Are you rearranging your lifestyle to accommodate the problem?
When it comes to finding a therapist, you have several options. You can find one locally, or there are numerous online therapy options available.
Most of these online options offer both video sessions and text chat options. They will also try to work with your insurance provider.
10. Have Self-Compassion
It’s essential to remember that you’re not defective if you regularly experience anxiety, fear and worry. There are many factors that contribute to it, and you’re not choosing to be afraid.
In light of this, be compassionate toward yourself.
Don’t try to deny the existence of your fears and worries, or act like you have it all together. Accept and love yourself, fears and all. If you’re unwilling to accept yourself until you completely overcome your fear and worry, you’ll be perpetually unhappy.
I’d love to know what worked for you. If you have any thoughts or suggestions, drop them in the comments below.
