Well, here it is! It’s time for the party. Everyone’s going to be there and even though you know it’s going to be awesome, you’re dreading it.
“What if I don’t know anyone?”, “What if no one talks to me?” “What if everyone else is enjoying themselves and I’m the only one standing on my own?” Do any of these ring true for you?
How ’bout you stop with the negativity and get your happy head on? 🙂
Why not ask yourself “What if I know lots of people?”, “What if everyone wants to talk to me?”, “What if I find that I’m enjoying myself as well?” After all, either set of questions are just as likely to be true.
You may as well go with the ones that empower you best.
Still not convinced?
OK then, use these 7 top tips to pump up your confidence in time for the big event.
1. Give Yourself Plenty of Compliments.
Yeah, I know it feels weird, giving yourself a compliment. It’s almost expected nowadays that we’re supposed to be humble and modest, not telling ourselves how great we are.
Obviously, I ‘m telling you to compliment yourself, to yourself. Please don’t write it on your blog, or explain to your friends just how great you are. That would really be embarrassing!
No, what I mean is take some time and really think about the things that make you unique. The things about yourself that you feel would be an asset to any one. Maybe it’s something like you have a wonderfully clear and glowing complexion. Perhaps you naturally have a ‘ripped’ physique, or maybe it’s something small like your toes, or fingers.
Of course, you shouldn’t only complement your physical attributes. Also commend yourself on things like how well you dealt with the cold-caller on the phone yesterday, or how you helped a neighbor clear the snow from their driveway, etc.
Whatever it is, make sure you remind yourself every day, just how lucky you are to be that way.
2. Breathe.
Take several slow, deep breaths. Imagine your body filling up from your head to your toes as you breathe in. Then slowly emptying as you breathe out.
Practicing regular deep breathing exercises has many wonderful advantages… Your body is designed to release 70% of its toxins through breathing.
It aids in the release of gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA), which helps regulate anxiety and stress.
It helps improve your mood by elevating the “feel good” hormone, serotonin, and other positive endorphins and it improves your mental focus and concentration by increasing blood flow to the Pre-Frontal Cortex of your brain.
Oh yeah, and controlled breathing can also result in lower blood pressure and slower heart rate.
OK. Now you’re ready to literally face the music and enjoy the party! But, just in case you’re still a bit worried, add the following tips to your repertoire…..
3. Smile
I know it sounds obvious, but it’s so easy when you’re uncomfortable to look unhappy, or ‘moody’. Smiling makes you look approachable, and it helps relieve stress as well 🙂
4. Watch Your Body Language
Your unconscious body language can say heaps about whether, or not another person finds you approachable. Crossing your arms is a natural response when you’re anxious, or stressed, but it makes you look ‘closed off’. If you find keeping your arms uncrossed a bit uncomfortable, try holding a drink, etc.
Next, try to make eye contact (or give the appearance of eye contact by looking at the person’s nose, or mouth). Making eye contact makes you appear more friendly and approachable.
5. Find Someone Who Looks Equally Uncomfortable.
It’s a dead cert that you’re not the only one there who’s feeling the pressure. Try to find someone else who looks like they would rather be somewhere else and approach them. The odds are good that they’d welcome some friendly, non-threatening conversation.
6. Talk About Them
When you approach your new ‘friend’, concentrate on them. You could start by asking them how they know the host, how far they had to travel, or by complimenting something they’re wearing.
Little things like this will naturally lead into a friendly conversation. When you act interested in others, they find you interesting too.
7. The First Step is Always the Hardest
Take that first step. Compliment yourself on your ability to take action. Take a few deep breaths. Smile big. Check your ‘open’ body language (uncross your arms), look out for someone who looks awkward, or uncomfortable too. Walk over to them and give them an honest compliment.
Then, once you’ve successfully squashed this issue, let me know in the comment exactly how it all went 🙂
